reedy's rambles

What have I accomplished so far today (not in order):

1) Sorted things in the basement to sell at the Flea Market.
2) Read through old letters from SoeYun and Toad.
3) Found Photo album of people's Sr. pics.
4) Realized that I did not know who everyone was.
5) Found Brian L. stuck behind Chad-- laughed.
6) Decided not to sell Paddington Bear shoe holder, after conversation with mom.
7) Took Lola for walk.
8) Ate homemade salsa from parents.
9) Dustbusted slight dirt around side door.
10) Made bed.
11) Found planner and to-do book.
12) Called Dacia to tell her I found old pics of Keenan and Kennedy looking cute.
13) Watched Accepted.
14) Made Breakfast Burritos
15) Played various games on Facebook.
16) Scanned and uploaded old note of SoeYun's onto Facebook.
17) Told Sarah of finding Brian L.'s pic
18) Drank a juice/ club soda refreshing beverage.
19) Called sister to update her on my daily progress.
20) Found Ipod underneath car seat, along with two pairs of sunglasses.

And all before noon, can you believe this????

A little bit of this and a little bit of that . . .

*I am watching Raising Victor Vargas. I am laughing because the family reminds me of Puerto Rico-- even if some members are Puerto Rican and some are Dominican. The grandma reminds me of someone I know . . .

*I am giving myself until 10 to chillax and then I am going to spend at least 2 hours being productive today. I am getting used to doing nothing though!

*I cannot stop listening to the song by Caedmon's Call that says, "Sometimes I fear maybe I'm not chosen . . ." Not because I am in some spiritual valley, but because every once in a while, you just want to know that someone else still has doubts, still wrestles and still overcomes daily.

First of all, I think I need therapy. The high I get from shopping-- for anything-- cannot be healthy. I think I need to discover the deep roots in order to stop. It is just about out of control. I think friends should call an intervention team. I live in a fantasy world that someday it will magically go away.

Second of all, I should be getting ready. I am going to play scrabble at Kris and Jamie, and I think I should be getting ready-- which only means getting my keys and walking out the door.

Third of all, I realize some of my friends are crazy. I think I need to keep them, but add a few sane ones in just for good measure. And what's funny is, I have enough crazy friends to tell them, "No, I wasn't talking about you. You know I meant _______________."

Fourth of all, I already know what I am wearing the first day back to school, but I want to new shoes to wear-- which brings me full circle back to one. It is a never ending cycle, my friends. Shopping is constantly on my brain.

I just finished reading Harry Potter 7 for the 3rd time. I know that seems crazy. It probably seems crazier that it makes me cry. But I'm ok with looking a little crazy. I think the book is not about them being wizards and witches, but about them being willing to sacrifice everything for what is good.

Church on Sunday was so good. Our minister talked about how God has started a good work in us, and that is an amazing concept to me. A good work has been started in me. Wow! I just always feel refreshed with the encouragement that God is working in and through me.

I am reading Henri Nouwen's The Inner Voice of Love. This was his private journal when he was going through a really painful time and it is almost a series of notes to himself, so he writes in 2nd person to you as the reader.

Favorite quotes:

Your love, insofar as it is from God, is permanent. You can claim the permanence of your love as a gift from God. And you can give that permanent love to others.

You have to trust the place that is solid, the place where you can say yes to God's love even when you do not feel it . . . You have to choose the solid place over and over again and return to it after every failure.