Monday, February 26, 2007
I translated for a gunshot victim yesterday in the hospital. It was the second time I have translated for a victim of a crime. Sometimes, I feel so inadequate when I translate. I sometimes have to talk "around" words. I couldn't think of the word for bullet, so I asked, "How do you say the word for what comes out of a gun and what is stuck in your shoulder?" He provided the word and we went on, the cop had no idea how ridiculous I am, but I still felt inadequate.
I have a sensitivity for Spanish after my years in Puerto Rico. One teacher asked me to ask some of her Hispanic girls to stop speaking "jibberish" in her classroom. I was so angry, but as it turned out, a coke deal went down in her classroom. So, she felt justified in asking students to stop speaking "jibberish." And I felt a sense of defeat.
My friend Kris preached at church last night. I wish he preached every Sunday, but our church does this trade-off thing that at times drives me nuts. Kris preached from the divorce and oath section of Matthew 5. How often do I, like the Pharisees, try to find "loopholes" with God? How scared am I of truly letting my yes be yes and my no, no? Could I bring my whole life out into the light? Really, could I? I thought about this last night. A lot. I thought about it again today. What am I not letting the Light hit? What do I hold onto because I justify it as fitting through a loophole? Oh, a lot. More that I even want to admit. It kept me up last night as I thought more about it. I prayed for forgiveness and wanted so much to start over today and live completely in the Light, but again, I let darkness creep in. It was in my thoughts, my words and my actions. I so want the darkness gone. Out. Completely out. Darkness has nothing on light, but I still let it in. I realized that darkness is only good for hiding and sleep. Why else do we think we need darkness? I do not want to be asleep or be in darkness.
It is one of the simplest analogies. Light = good. Darkness = evil. Yet it has so much impact on our lives. God put it into simple terms, so we would get it. Every so often I need to get it again because I forget. I need reminders that my life is not mine or for me. I need reminders that I am called by His name. I forget so quickly.
I have a sensitivity for Spanish after my years in Puerto Rico. One teacher asked me to ask some of her Hispanic girls to stop speaking "jibberish" in her classroom. I was so angry, but as it turned out, a coke deal went down in her classroom. So, she felt justified in asking students to stop speaking "jibberish." And I felt a sense of defeat.
My friend Kris preached at church last night. I wish he preached every Sunday, but our church does this trade-off thing that at times drives me nuts. Kris preached from the divorce and oath section of Matthew 5. How often do I, like the Pharisees, try to find "loopholes" with God? How scared am I of truly letting my yes be yes and my no, no? Could I bring my whole life out into the light? Really, could I? I thought about this last night. A lot. I thought about it again today. What am I not letting the Light hit? What do I hold onto because I justify it as fitting through a loophole? Oh, a lot. More that I even want to admit. It kept me up last night as I thought more about it. I prayed for forgiveness and wanted so much to start over today and live completely in the Light, but again, I let darkness creep in. It was in my thoughts, my words and my actions. I so want the darkness gone. Out. Completely out. Darkness has nothing on light, but I still let it in. I realized that darkness is only good for hiding and sleep. Why else do we think we need darkness? I do not want to be asleep or be in darkness.
It is one of the simplest analogies. Light = good. Darkness = evil. Yet it has so much impact on our lives. God put it into simple terms, so we would get it. Every so often I need to get it again because I forget. I need reminders that my life is not mine or for me. I need reminders that I am called by His name. I forget so quickly.
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