Sunday, August 22, 2004
Week 1 down, only a kazillion left to go. Don't get me wrong, I love teaching, but this year seems to just be set up for disaster. I have a variety of kids that don't even speak English fluently, which presents its own set of challenges. Our team of students are especially low. I am used to challenges, but it seems so awesomely overwhelming right now. Especially, when so many of them stare at me through eyes older than mine. Many of them are poor, used to school being a place they have to go to, but gives them two free meals a day. I want it to be more for them, so I have two choices: Make it easy for myself and give it half of me or after a daily cry, plan lessons for 52 individual students.
On a different note, I feel more settled. I love Sunday night dinners at the parents. I love that Brandi is about to have a baby. I love that we all grow up, but still need each other's love and support. I love that my little sister is also my roommate. I love that I don't feel lonely. I love that Joe has health insurance. I know that some may argue over my use of the word love, but when your heart has felt heavy over the same issues, love seems quite right.
On a different note, I feel more settled. I love Sunday night dinners at the parents. I love that Brandi is about to have a baby. I love that we all grow up, but still need each other's love and support. I love that my little sister is also my roommate. I love that I don't feel lonely. I love that Joe has health insurance. I know that some may argue over my use of the word love, but when your heart has felt heavy over the same issues, love seems quite right.
Thursday, August 12, 2004
Last night, Joe and I made ourselves sick with depression, but it felt real. Sometimes, wrapping up yourself in sadness makes you feel as if you are not living in corners dodging signs of your previous life. Denial then acceptance, right?
We found houses for sale in Bayamon. The website included a map. We hit the zoom buttons in and out and then the compass directions until we found where our home used to be then we zig-zagged through until we got to school.
AOL has a keyword for our mall, Plaza las Americas, so we took a trip there. We looked at mall's layout and plotted our steps with the mouse's cursor. We peeked in at the shoes we should be buying, the shirts we should be admiring, and the ensembles we should be craving.
We detoured through web-based radio searching for our stations. We unsuccessfully tried to shop at a website for Boricuas grounded stateside.
We read news articles concerning our neighbors, and even checked the movie listings. Laughing at the times we saw movies and spent more time reading than watching the movie.
After all that traveling, we were exhausted. We vainly checked plane ticket prices and sighed over the hefty price tag we have too often paid.
Tears rested in our eyes as we pushed the X in the corner to end our travels . . . at least for last night.
We found houses for sale in Bayamon. The website included a map. We hit the zoom buttons in and out and then the compass directions until we found where our home used to be then we zig-zagged through until we got to school.
AOL has a keyword for our mall, Plaza las Americas, so we took a trip there. We looked at mall's layout and plotted our steps with the mouse's cursor. We peeked in at the shoes we should be buying, the shirts we should be admiring, and the ensembles we should be craving.
We detoured through web-based radio searching for our stations. We unsuccessfully tried to shop at a website for Boricuas grounded stateside.
We read news articles concerning our neighbors, and even checked the movie listings. Laughing at the times we saw movies and spent more time reading than watching the movie.
After all that traveling, we were exhausted. We vainly checked plane ticket prices and sighed over the hefty price tag we have too often paid.
Tears rested in our eyes as we pushed the X in the corner to end our travels . . . at least for last night.
Thursday, August 05, 2004
Sometimes, life is just filled with mundane boringness. I have survived (barely) a week of "New Teacher Orientation" meetings. I am already exhausted, and I haven't even met the kids yet!
I seriously think the most exciting thing in my day today was signing up for budget billing with the electric company.
But then I got to eat lasagna at Lauren's and even though we didn't really have a deep conversation or play any games or do anything "meaningful," it was a content peace. Brandi and Christian were there too, and it was just communing together, sharing a meal, and it was good. I came home and smiled and thanked God for giving me friends that are safe places.
Things I need to accomplish . . . soon!
*Re-visit the penguins at the zoo
*Buy school supplies out the whazoo
*Pay a gazillion bills, so they're not overdue
I love making lists!
I really wish I was going to Lyndsay and Jon's this weekend . . . I wish everyone could know them because the love they radiate just overflows onto everyone they come in contact with!
Soon. . .
I seriously think the most exciting thing in my day today was signing up for budget billing with the electric company.
But then I got to eat lasagna at Lauren's and even though we didn't really have a deep conversation or play any games or do anything "meaningful," it was a content peace. Brandi and Christian were there too, and it was just communing together, sharing a meal, and it was good. I came home and smiled and thanked God for giving me friends that are safe places.
Things I need to accomplish . . . soon!
*Re-visit the penguins at the zoo
*Buy school supplies out the whazoo
*Pay a gazillion bills, so they're not overdue
I love making lists!
I really wish I was going to Lyndsay and Jon's this weekend . . . I wish everyone could know them because the love they radiate just overflows onto everyone they come in contact with!
Soon. . .
