Monday, June 28, 2004
I am seriously cranky. I am a 3 year old whom you normally adore that you just want to send away . . . to elsewhere.
It is not as if things haven't happened quickly. I have an apartment lined up. My grandma is letting me borrow her car for a couple of months. I have started planning next year in my classroom already. Everything is going according to plan and schedule.
However, I am edgy, irritable, and downright . . . not a happy person to be around right now. I can't stand to be touched, talked to, or told what I should do.
Usually, I can take a deep breath and reassess. It aint working right now.
I can however, describe how I feel to you. You know how you feel after an afternoon nap went a bit too long? You feel cloudy, disconnected, groggy, and just not awake? Now, imagine feeling in this state and having to make decisions, be directed, and be nice all at the same time. That, in a nutshell, is how I feel right at this moment.
I need to go shopping, and I don't want to. My eyebrows are in an unkempt state, my nail polish is chipped, and my hair has been worn up more times than I care to recount.
I am exhausted.
___________________________________________
Dear Jenn,
I know you pretty well (hey, fun note-- using pretty as an adverb or adjective I found out is a local thing). When you feel like this, stop pretending that this is a first, you usually need to start pretending you are happy and together. So, start by making an appointment for your eyebrows and hair. Since we're trying to save money, this time take care of your own nails, today. Tonight, go to Target and look at shower curtains. Yes, Target. I know you wanted to go to Pottery Barn, but for right now Target will work. Trust me, you'll feel better after you have that little part done. Not too mention, the extra $20 you'll have in your pocket.
After that is accomplished, do something for someone else. I mean it. You are being entirely to inward focused. That's the part of you right now that we're hating. Call a friend and refuse to talk about yourself. Remember Mike's sermon? We need to seriously work on our listening skills! Give your mom a hug. Call your 89 year old Grandma just to tell her you were thinking about her and that you love her. Call your brother and finalize those plans to watch your niece and nephew for a weekend. I promise you'll feel better. Have I ever let you down before?
Love,
Your inner you
It is not as if things haven't happened quickly. I have an apartment lined up. My grandma is letting me borrow her car for a couple of months. I have started planning next year in my classroom already. Everything is going according to plan and schedule.
However, I am edgy, irritable, and downright . . . not a happy person to be around right now. I can't stand to be touched, talked to, or told what I should do.
Usually, I can take a deep breath and reassess. It aint working right now.
I can however, describe how I feel to you. You know how you feel after an afternoon nap went a bit too long? You feel cloudy, disconnected, groggy, and just not awake? Now, imagine feeling in this state and having to make decisions, be directed, and be nice all at the same time. That, in a nutshell, is how I feel right at this moment.
I need to go shopping, and I don't want to. My eyebrows are in an unkempt state, my nail polish is chipped, and my hair has been worn up more times than I care to recount.
I am exhausted.
___________________________________________
Dear Jenn,
I know you pretty well (hey, fun note-- using pretty as an adverb or adjective I found out is a local thing). When you feel like this, stop pretending that this is a first, you usually need to start pretending you are happy and together. So, start by making an appointment for your eyebrows and hair. Since we're trying to save money, this time take care of your own nails, today. Tonight, go to Target and look at shower curtains. Yes, Target. I know you wanted to go to Pottery Barn, but for right now Target will work. Trust me, you'll feel better after you have that little part done. Not too mention, the extra $20 you'll have in your pocket.
After that is accomplished, do something for someone else. I mean it. You are being entirely to inward focused. That's the part of you right now that we're hating. Call a friend and refuse to talk about yourself. Remember Mike's sermon? We need to seriously work on our listening skills! Give your mom a hug. Call your 89 year old Grandma just to tell her you were thinking about her and that you love her. Call your brother and finalize those plans to watch your niece and nephew for a weekend. I promise you'll feel better. Have I ever let you down before?
Love,
Your inner you
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